Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
You don't make any sense
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