if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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