No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
