So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Randomize
