i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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