We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
