But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
