I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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