Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
