I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I have post one night stand depression
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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