You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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