my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Did we literally take a cab across the street
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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