it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i think my mom watched the whole time
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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