I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Are my feet made of real feet?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Found the puke drawer
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize