I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
