everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
