im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
