using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He? As in you personified your dick?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
