she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
