Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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