This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
This house was built for laser tag.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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