Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize