I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
