You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
