There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
