Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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