Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
