ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Randomize
