Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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