That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
