You just made me feel so damn special
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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