Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
