nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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