So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
