I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Found the puke drawer
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
