I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
