i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
