the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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