Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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