just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
