pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Floor bacon is actually really good
You've changed since you got that strap on
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
