When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
