He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
