please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
