He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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