When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
