Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
