never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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