I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize