Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
