Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
