You're so nebulous sometimes
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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