I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
