what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
