The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
