She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
