and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
