from now on my penis is your penis
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize