That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Sorry about my life...
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
