You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
It's just like the Real World with babies
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
