We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
