sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
